Make Change Suck Less – Episode #2
In episode #1, we established that going with the flow has its merits… and that doing so sometimes even produces beneficial outcomes. But what if it gets even better than that?
We spend SO much energy resisting change. I wish there was a way to calculate this in concrete terms, like number of brain cells suffocated by anxiety, or dollars draining from our personal asset base, or… something other than gray hair.
Here’s an alternative way to look at it from my personal arsenal of recent experiences.
Four people I care a great deal about – and who have been within arms reach on a near constant basis for years – have LEFT ME within a few weeks. This includes my two kids and two of my very best friends. (Okay… so they haven’t left me, per se. But none of them live anywhere near me anymore, so you get what I mean.)
You would think I would be feeling pretty blue. But I gotta say… I’m kinda reveling in the new and unexpected space.
Let’s start with my newest luxuries of home and hearth:
- I haven’t tripped over a twisted pile of boxers on the floor in months
- Cupboard doors are – miraculously – closed, hiding whatever is meant to be hidden
- There isn’t a dirty dish in the sink… unless I put it there
- Not one Goldfish has crunched under my ass when I relax on the couch
- My cat knows just which lap to climb into (… finally! The one who feeds him!)
Moving on from the mundane to the more meaningful:
- The new rhythm of my days, nights and weeks are suddenly shaped by MY interests, MY priorities and MY intentions
- There are friends I get to see that I haven’t seen since sitting on the sidelines of T-ball “games,” and new ones presenting themselves in my path
- Events I’ve always wondered about in a distant way are finding a committed spot on my calendar – activity partner or no
- And also, unexpected bouts of loneliness that are both deep and challenging; inviting me to get real about how I want connection to thread its way into and through my life
So now I’m thinking: What if we could drop our natural resistance to change when it happens “to us” at work and open to the world of what-ifs? What if we could somehow flip that switch from “Danger Danger” to an “Oh, that’s interesting… tell me more” position the next time the winds of change blow our way, bypassing the whole fear, anxiety and resistance cycle completely? What kinds of possibilities might cross our path when we learn to dim the fight or flight response so that our vision is made a bit clearer?
And that – what if – is the topic of my next post. Stay tuned.
Check out our new peer coaching program for new and emerging leaders called YOU LEAD. We’ll be digging into all kinds of ways to make change suck less by activating your voice, your impact.